there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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