paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
it wasn't lemon gatorade
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
