Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
