so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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