what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
