It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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