Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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