i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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