You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
