I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
