Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
