You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
