i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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