Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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