Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It was confusing and full of hummus
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
