So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
