I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
