best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
