No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My bed smells like the plague
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
