We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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