marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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