There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
