Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
