That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
