i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
