It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
