I think my vagina is haunted
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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