I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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