FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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