You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
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Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
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Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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