do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
