now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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