Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
