He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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