omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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