i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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