either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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