Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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