Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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