Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I have fence marks all over my body
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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