Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize