When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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