so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
