was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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