I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
