ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
