I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
