worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
