If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
