She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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