During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Text me some of your sweat
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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