i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
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He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
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Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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