these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
