oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
