i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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