I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
