she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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