nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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