Whatcha textin bout Willis?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor