Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  Wooohooo!  I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush.  Lots of happy people.

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  (510): Wooohooo!  I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush.  Lots of happy people. http://tfl.nu/ggkk
  Replies (3) Good night (1034) Bad night (1150)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.

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  (917): half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country. http://tfl.nu/tafy
  Replies (262) Good night (20613) Bad night (2138)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds

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  (412): I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds http://tfl.nu/2vvx
  Replies (32) Good night (1622) Bad night (15520)
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  (510): View more from California

  At what point did I eat out of your mouth?

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  (510): At what point did I eat out of your mouth? http://tfl.nu/tcp8
  Replies (9) Good night (1003) Bad night (4349)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over

  (314): View more from Missouri

  you can't hurt those

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  (314): I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over (314): you can't hurt those http://tfl.nu/gmcq
  Replies (7) Good night (4579) Bad night (1020)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.

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  (832): Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool. http://tfl.nu/d5dr
  Replies (48) Good night (10940) Bad night (1457)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero

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  (661): the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero http://tfl.nu/o327
  Replies (6) Good night (3014) Bad night (875)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?

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  (845): I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain? http://tfl.nu/0jn9
  Replies (9) Good night (4470) Bad night (873)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.

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  (586): I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup. http://tfl.nu/qqt4
  Replies (4) Good night (1253) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!

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  (708): Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday! http://tfl.nu/a9dm
  Replies (8) Good night (2425) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"

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  (703): After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken" http://tfl.nu/pqky
  Replies (7) Good night (818) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates

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  (305): So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates http://tfl.nu/kad8
  Replies (11) Good night (416) Bad night (1708)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.

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  (303): I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time. http://tfl.nu/ridr
  Replies (12) Good night (573) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.

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  (401): He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached. http://tfl.nu/uw2g
  Replies (1) Good night (748) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.

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  (304): I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb. http://tfl.nu/b1k3
  Replies (7) Good night (400) Bad night (533)

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