did you get engaged???
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬