it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy