Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  you want me

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i'd rather choke on a dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): you want me (978): i'd rather choke on a dick. http://tfl.nu/nrvz
  Replies (3) Good night (1059) Bad night (1679)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober? http://tfl.nu/qjrt
  Replies (30) Good night (937) Bad night (2086)
• Favorite

  (+06): View more from

  it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+06): it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever.. http://tfl.nu/huu2
  Replies (36) Good night (1227) Bad night (7504)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore. http://tfl.nu/4chi
  Replies (10) Good night (773) Bad night (4701)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know. http://tfl.nu/dzr5
  Replies (15) Good night (6978) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself. http://tfl.nu/tn32
  Replies (17) Good night (4255) Bad night (2026)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not http://tfl.nu/vkjn
  Replies (10) Good night (1355) Bad night (2416)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard http://tfl.nu/np0a
  Replies (5) Good night (1051) Bad night (1977)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no" http://tfl.nu/13gy
  Replies (7) Good night (2462) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer. http://tfl.nu/vxsa
  Replies (4) Good night (732) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans! http://tfl.nu/q5t9
  Replies (8) Good night (1724) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy. http://tfl.nu/xqei
  Replies (11) Good night (3602) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon http://tfl.nu/n4f7
  Replies (16) Good night (1180) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out. http://tfl.nu/qokz
  Replies (4) Good night (898) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on. http://tfl.nu/pfvu
  Replies (2) Good night (431) Bad night (704)

Randomize