Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
