when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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