My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize