I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
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